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The Church maintains her position of no divorce – Dame Itsueli
In a compelling and far-reaching interview with the Editor, NETA NWOSU, Dame Bridget Itsueli, Coordinator, Family and Human Life Unit (FHLU), Archdiocese of Lagos, shed light on the deep spiritual and social relevance of the upcoming Jubilee of Families, Children, Grandparents, and the Elderly. Anchored in Scripture and aligned with Pope Francis’ declaration of 2025 as a Jubilee Year of Hope, the leading voice of the Archdiocese’ FHLU framed the observance as far more than a ceremonial milestone. Rather, she described it as an urgent and practical response to the growing fractures within family life, an invitation to renewal, healing, and the revival of hope at a time when marriages and intergenerational relationships are increasingly under strain. She spoke on faith formation of children and youths among other contemporary issues. Excerpts:

What is the significance of the Jubilee of Families, Children, Grandparents, and Elderly, and how does it relate to the Lagos Archdiocese’s mission?

The Jubilee, as decreed by Yahweh in Leviticus 25:10, was a sacred celebration for the Israelites. It was a time for the community to embrace reconciliation, dismantle injustice, and establish justice, ultimately leading to renewal and restoration. This celebration is to occur every 50 years. In the context of the Jubilee Year of Hope declared by Pope Francis, there is no doubt that our world today is marked by deep turmoil at every level, particularly within families. Homes, marriages, husbands, wives, and children are all negatively affected and influenced by these challenges.

Many marriages are under immense strain, giving rise to loneliness, fear, panic, and a kind of social disorientation that has left many feeling hopeless. The Jubilee Year of Hope reminds us that God remains at the centre of our world, as both Creator and Saviour. While hope may appear to be a passive virtue, it is in fact a powerful force. It is the strong pillar that upholds faith; the foundation on which faith is built, sustained, and made to endure. The Jubilee of Families invites every member of the family to celebrate their bonds, renew their faith, rekindle hope in one another, and deepen their love for each other. This renewal calls for a conscious decision to forgive past hurts and deep wounds, and to promote reconciliation, restoration, and the healing of family relationships.

The Jubilee of Families, which took place in Rome the penultimate weekend, serves as a global invitation for all of us to engage in personal, social, and spiritual renewal. Church communities around the world are encouraged to dedicate time to celebrating family ties, appreciating one another, including parents, grandparents, and children. The family is one of God’s greatest gifts. It sustains hope and provides essential support to all its members.

Though families differ in many ways, the Jubilee of Families reminds us not to take intergenerational support for granted. This is a time for the old, the young, and those in between to give thanks to God for the blessing of family, and for how each generation, through dialogue and loving actions, contributes to the well-being of the whole.

How did the Lagos Archdiocese celebrate this jubilee from May 30 to June 1, 2025, and what activities were planned?

Rome has designated these dates as pilot programmes to guide dioceses in incorporating the themes of the Jubilee into their own archdiocesan initiatives. In line with this, the Archdiocese of Lagos has outlined three major diocesan programmes that will anchor the Jubilee themes throughout the year. The celebration of the elderly will take place in July, led by the Archbishop during a special Mass dedicated to honouring the elderly. Immediately following this, in August, the Archdiocese will join the rest of the country in celebrating the National Family Week, an initiative of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of Nigeria.

Finally, in December we celebrate the family as the Domestic Church on the Feast of the Holy Family. The themes of the Jubilee Year will be reflected across all these events, forming a consistent thread throughout the liturgical calendar. In addition, a Mentoring and Sexuality Education Programme for Youth will be launched as one of the strategies for supporting the moral education of young people. A key initiative is a Training Programme on Sexuality and the Theology of the Body, specifically designed for pastoral workers and parents. The goal is to curb the growing trend of young people turning to untrustworthy social media platforms for answers to important questions about sexuality.

What message do you hope families, children, grandparents, and the elderly will take away from this jubilee celebration?

When Pope Francis declared 2025 a Jubilee Year, he anchored its message in Romans 5:5: “Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Looking around us today, we see a world filled with fear, despair, and a creeping sense of hopelessness that tempts many to give up. Yet, it is precisely for this reason that the Jubilee Year invites us, as Christians, to turn our focus toward God. Hope in God does not disappoint, because God’s character is trustworthy. His steadfastness, power, and love are the unshakable guarantees of our hope.

In order for children to resist the negative influences of today’s world, families must make a conscious effort to evaluate the strength of their emotional resources. Love, support, trust, and loyalty are essential values that are nurtured within the family, they cannot be bought in any marketplace. The power of love between husband and wife, and the cohesion found within the extended family, are immeasurable. These are treasures to be celebrated in the home. This is why sad and unhappy marriages need attention, counselling and support at parish levels. The Parish Priests are doing so well with caring for family spirituality.

We must also accompany married couples with pastoral support in the early years of marriage. It is important for us as Church to think also of ways to support this pastoral office of the Parish Priest by training experts and volunteers to join forces to deal with the rising trends of family failure and articulate ways of journey with newly married couples for at least the first five years of their married life. The family is also where all life’s dramas play out whether joyful or sorrowful. The family remains the only authentic place of learning and cultivating hope in children and individuals. The shared stories of the experience of elderly family members or grandparents become prophetic stories of hope for the young and prepares and strengthens them for a life that will not always go their way.

Through all the changing scenes of life in the family, only a family anchored on hope in God’s love can withstand life’s rigours and come out triumphant. This is the message of the Jubilee Year of Hope. This is the reason Pope Leo XIV at his Sunday homily of the Jubilee of Families said: “For this reason, with a heart filled with gratitude and hope, I would remind all married couples that marriage is not an ideal but the measure of true love between a man and a woman: a love that is total, faithful and fruitful (cf. SAINT PAUL VI, Humanae Vitae, 9). This love makes you one flesh and enables you, in the image of God, to bestow the gift of life.”

What are some of the most pressing family issues in Nigeria today, and how is the Lagos Archdiocese addressing them?

I shall address this question not from the socio-economic but from the point of view of the family as a domestic Church, a miniature Church whose task is to transmit the Dad and Mum’s faith in Jesus Christ to their children and other members of the family. In my opinion the most pressing is the absence of parents at home, the lack of time for family life to dialogue and engage. The family is no longer together even when they live under the same roof. They no longer play games together, visit friends together and celebrate each other together at home.

Parents are away at work almost for 16 hours every day. Most of them leave home at 5a.m and do not return until 9p.m or 10p.m. It is rare for many parents especially fathers to see their children during day light hours on weekdays. Weekends also have kept parents busy with other social tasks. This is serious and it is important for families themselves to come together and discuss how as Church or Parish, to make families aware of this problem and the way it will impact on the correct emotional development of both parents and children. This is where the extended family grandparents can help in some ways to support young parents. Naturally the economy is another big issue.

When parents generate their own electricity, source their own water supply, parents will find it tough to meet their other family responsibilities and children are reduced to “mouths to feed”. Advocacy as a way of putting pressure on political leadership is not yet as effective as it can be. The social rights of families have been painfully ignored by the government. Again, the onus is on all of us to find a way out of this debilitating situation. I think perhaps there has been too much complaining with little effort at initiating solutions no matter how small.

How can families in Nigeria be supported and strengthened in their roles as the foundation of society?

You are right to point out the truth about the family that we all know. John Paul II said that “The future of the world passes through the family”. And in his Jubilee homily last Sunday, Pope Leo XIV speaking to the families gathered at Mass said in the family we are all, “Different, yet one; many, yet one; always, in every situation and at every stage of life. Families are the cradle of the future of humanity”. One thing I know to be true too is that roles and responsibilities are learnt in the family, so too collaboration, cooperation, loyalty and concern for others is learned; strengths and weaknesses are identified in the family because the family is a miniature of the world.

Good habits learnt in the family translate to good habits lived in the society, the family is thus, as the synod fathers recalled, the place of origin and the most effective means for humanising and personalising society: Familiaris Consortio 43.

What initiatives or programmes does the Family and Human Life Unit have in place to promote family values, marriage, and parenthood?

Our major undertaking is to teach and give information about the sacramentality and the nature of marriage as designed and desired by God. The Bible in Hosea 4:6 “My people perish for lack of knowledge,” reinforces the importance of knowledge, of having correct information about anything one does or wants to do otherwise there is the danger of self-annihilation. Couples are sad and marriages are ruined because at best only about 20% of couples marrying in the Catholic Church had the knowledge they needed to make a real success of their marriage or to work at it with the hope Family life is learned and to give love that is enduring to another person is learned behaviour. Right education and training is what is needed to help couples develop resilience.

The School for Marriage and Family and Human Life Studies was set up specifically to fill this knowledge gap. It is open to all persons who are married, single and especially for those who take marriage preparation courses in their parishes or who undertake social work with families. It is now in its 18th year and has graduated over 700 persons in the Church’s vision of marriage and family. The Family and Human Life Unit promotes Natural Family Planning Methods, for couples who choose these safer methods of spacing the birth of their children; Napro technology and the Creighton Model for couples experiencing infertility.

How does the Lagos Archdiocese provide pastoral care and support to families, particularly those facing challenges such as poverty, divorce, or abuse?

The Catholic Church has structure and is well organised at various levels in the parishes and all over the Archdiocese. The Church’s Social Teaching upholds Jesus option for the poor. From the parish level to the Archdiocesan level individuals, and societies like St. Vincent de Paul, St Rita do amazing work caring for the needs of the poor in a very personal and caring way. Other societies also are encouraged to help and support the poor as a corporal work of mercy.

The Justice Development and Peace Commission is structured to undertake the initiatives that dismantle social structures which entrench poverty and social inequalities. There is the Archbishop’s Caritas projects that operate at the Archdiocesan and National levels and beyond to alleviate the effects of poverty, abuse, social exclusion and underdevelopment. The Catholic Church is known worldwide for her concern for the poor and for her philosophies and principles of the Common Good that urges equity, justice, both in the workplace, home and society. On the issue of divorce, the Church maintains her position of no divorce, as this reflects the teaching of Jesus Christ, who is the Head of the Church.

However, the Church, known as the Mother Church, also shows loving concern for her children who are in difficult marriages or whose marriages pose a threat to their lives or well-being. There is a structured system to handle such cases and resolve them with appropriate safeguarding solutions. The first step begins with a report to the Parish Priest by the person affected.

What resources are available to families through the Family and Human Life Unit, and how can they access these resources?

The Family and Human Life Unit is not an NGO (non-governmental organisation). It is also not a Church society. It is a coordinating office of the archbishop for matters relating to marriage, family and human life. It is charged with coordination and development of the marriage and family apostolate. It has five areas of work: Providing training resources and managing the interactions between the various sectors viz: Marriage Preparation; Marriage Enrichment; Prolife and Advocacy for the Unborn; Parenting, Sexuality and Virtues Education and Character Building; and Counselling and Care; Children with Special Needs.

How can the Church better support families in Nigeria, and what role can laypeople play in this effort?

The laity make up the majority of the Church. They are also at the forefront of the battle for the soul of the family. It is the laity who occupy offices—they are the professionals, politicians, and economists. Through their work, they are most likely to be present at high levels of decision-making, where they have the opportunity to stand up for the family and promote policies that positively impact its well-being. This responsibility places a sense of urgency squarely at the doorstep of every adult member of the laity. After all, every member of the Church is born into a family. Supporting families is, therefore, first and foremost, the responsibility of every Christian, especially those in public or political office.

The Church’s role is to strengthen the faith of the laity. Consequently, the hierarchy must also engage in deep reflection: How effectively have we transmitted the faith to Catholic leaders in industry and the economy? Have we equipped them to become agents of positive change? What more must we do to form the consciences of civil servants, political aspirants, politicians, and all those engaged in public service? These are critical questions, ones that deserve thorough and thoughtful examination.

How does the Lagos Archdiocese engage with young people and families to promote their spiritual growth and development?

The archdiocese has a robust Religious Education department charged with religious education and catechesis. This is a live wire for faith education of the young and their parents. The Department is working hard to initiate programmes and ways to enhance religious education and engage more hands into the work force. Catechists are being trained systemically and with new focus. Also, other catechetical initiatives that engage the young and families are being undertaken by the Religious Education Department. These are commendable efforts. The Family and Human Life has training courses in parenting young people especially in formation. We send teams to schools to discuss issues of interest to the young and their well-being.

What programmes or initiatives are in place to support the faith formation of children and youth within families?

At FHLU we noted how young people and even young parents love music and dancing and decided to explore music and dance as a way of bringing parents, children, grandparents and family members together through dance whenever people gather at home. Families can exercise together at home using dance and music. So, one of our newest initiatives is dance as a healing tool both for healthy exercise and the sheer joy of dancing and music. It is an interesting mix of faith sharing for 15minutes, Dance for one hour and refreshments and friendship time for 30 minutes.

We are interested in introducing this to parishes and encouraging more families to dance at home. However we must not forget that the primary educators of faith are the parents, not the Catechist, not the Teacher in School but the parents at home. The Church teaches that parents are the primary educators of their children particularly in faith and character formation. The school supports parents for secular education, the Catechist prepares the children for reception of sacraments. Parents are required to coordinate all the learning experiences of their children. The Missionary Childhood Association also supports the development and faith formation of children. This society exists in all parishes and parents may want to have their children participate in the MCA programmes.

We cannot over emphasise this point. Every Parish has organisations that support the spiritual and social formation of the child from the Missionary Childhood Association to various levels of the Catholic Youth Organisation up to age 35, all organised in various levels depending on age. Parents also have many organisations they can join to suit their taste and outlook. These organisations can organise systematic training for young parents in their midst. Family and Human Life Unit has Resource Persons to support parishes in this formation initiative.

How can families be encouraged to prioritise faith, prayer, and spiritual practices in their daily lives?

This is a tough call. You can lead a horse to the water but you can’t make it drink. This is true of Christian adults. If their formation from home was negligent of prayer. It will be hard unless a properly articulated adult faith formation process is embarked upon. Once again, I return to this superb organisational structure we have in the Nigerian Church. The CMO, CWO, CCM – what systemic programme do these organisations have for the official faith formation of their members? Have the members themselves expressed such needs to the leadership of the group? Perhaps the Laity Association needs to look into this and see what can be structured as a systemic and systematic programme or process of formation for the laity by an informed and trained laity.

 


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